


Trust and Obey

by rosworms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha!Dean, M/M, Mpreg, NSFW, alpha/beta/omega, omega!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4453052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosworms/pseuds/rosworms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam could understand why Dean got so protective of him when it got close to Sam’s heat, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. He hated feeling like he was incapable of taking care of himself.</p>
<p>Biology made Sam it’s bitch every cycle, even if he didn’t see it that way while it was happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam could understand why Dean got so protective of him when it got close to Sam’s heat, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. He hated feeling like he was incapable of taking care of himself.

Biology made Sam it’s bitch every cycle, even if he didn’t see it that way while it was happening. 

While he was in his heat, Sam’s only thoughts were of need and want and pleasure and mating. Obedience was more than instinctual, it was pleasurable and compulsive. It didn’t really matter what someone told him to do. If they were an alpha, the more strongly they commanded, the more Sam needed to obey them and the better it felt. 

He knew the compulsion to be completely obedient was the biggest reason for Dean’s protectiveness. After Sam presented as an omega in his teens, a stranger had tried to make him go with him as Sam had gone to use the bathroom alone at a rest stop. 

Dean and their father beat the man to a bloody pulp when they saw Sam compliantly being lead to a rundown mac truck. 

Thinking back on it, Sam remembered feeling warm, really horny, and the man’s commanding tone was soothing. His orders sent tingles down Sam’s spine. He remembered feeling like he would gladly do anything he was ordered by this alpha.

He remembered the jarring feeling when he was pulled away from the alpha. But it was into another alpha’s arms and he tried to burrow into the coolness and protection of them. He knew now that it was Dean’s arms and body he pressed against. At the time, he only knew alpha. The more alphas the better.

He remembered being blissed out in the car, surrounded by the scents of two alphas. He remembered feelings. He couldn’t recall any words that were spoken or actions that were taken. He hadn’t even realized he was with his family. Heats were a strong force of nature and he had been at it’s mercy, completely vulnerable to anyone who would take advantage of it.

Sam wasn’t allowed on his own much after that. Not until his cycles became more regulated. After he became more regular, he was chaperoned only within three days of and during his heats.

It made him feel like a child. He hated being dependent on someone else.

It made his predicament more frightening when he knew that he actually did need the protection. He’d been accepted to Stanford on a full ride. Like any other school, they had omega only dorms with beta security at each entrance. But that didn’t stop the news stories of omegas going missing, or rape and abuse charges that are regularly dismissed. 

If he stayed with his family, he’d be safe from other alpha influence, but in danger from the supernatural and he’d never find out who he could really be. If he left, he would be free from hunting and the supernatural, but he’d be in danger of any alpha taking advantage of him.

If he could leave at all. While the urge to obey was strongest and most pleasurable during heats, it was hard to resist during other times in his life if an alpha used his commanding alpha voice.

If he chose to leave, his family would try to make him stay. But he hasn’t made the decision yet.

“Sammy! C’mon, it’s time to go!” Dean’s voice traveled into Sam’s room, casual without the forced alpha authority behind it that he and their father sometimes used during hunts to keep Sam in line.

Still… it felt good to do what his alphas wanted. He knew they loved him and wanted the best for him and the family.

With a sigh, Sam shoved the Stanford information book in his duffel and closed up the room after one last look around to see if he’d forgotten anything. On to the next hunt.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam and Dean pulled into a roadside diner, meeting up with John’s big black truck. They were somewhere in Minnesota, almost to their hunt in some small town in Wisconsin.

“I’m starving.” Dean grinned, jingling the keys and waggling his eyebrows at Sam. He got a chuckle from Sam in return as they exited the vehicle. Their father was already inside and gave them a nod through the window. 

“So what’s good?” Dean asked John as they slid into the booth he’d gotten. Sam quietly grabbed a menu and perused while Dean and John chatted. He never felt the need to speak up at moments like this. It was in his nature to speak when spoken too. And though he was comfortable speaking freely when it was just him and Dean, his father still felt more like extended family instead of immediate. Certain instinctual protocols that were often forgotten with family were still felt strongly by Sam’s omega instincts. 

He’d been working on standing up for himself against his father, no matter how wrong it felt. He knew he’d need to have strength if he decided to leave, so he’d been working on being more independent of, at least, that one person.

When the waitress came over, she greeted Dean and John and gave a small smile to Sam. She took the alpha’s orders and Sam waited until one of them gave him permission to order for himself, otherwise the waitress would wait for one of them to give his order or assume he wouldn’t be eating. It wasn’t that omegas weren’t allowed to be independent… they just… weren’t. It went against every instinct they had and their quiet nature was respected. 

“Sam? What will you be having?” John asked. 

“I’ll have a Ceasar Salad, please?” It was phrased as a question. He couldn’t stop himself. 

“You need protein, Sammy. Add chicken.” Dean commanded. Sam flushed and nodded as the urge to obey flooded him. 

“With chicken.” Sam breathed. It was gentle, the zing of pleasure that seemed to rush through his body. Like a quick adrenaline rush, but better. The waitress nodded and walked away.

“Good.” Dean smiled in approval and Sam beamed, not caring about the frustrated glare that John was giving Dean. John hated when Dean made small decisions for Sam. It was a parental or mate role. But John never played the parental alpha role all that well, so the brothers had adapted whether he liked it or not. And Dean’s alpha influence always overrode their father’s because of this. Secretly, Sam knew that’s what John’s problem was. He wanted to be in charge and he knew that Sam would always side with Dean, even if it was instincts and not out of choice.

The meal was relatively quiet except for a few murmurs about the upcoming hunt. They suspected a Will o’ the Wisp, based on the reports of lights being seen near a particular swamp before the victims died. A relatively easy hunt as long as you had the right gear to protect against electrical shock.

Sam make a mental picture of the Impala’s trunk and realized they would need to stop at a hardware store before they reached their destination. He made to lean to his right to speak softly to Dean and stopped as their father cleared his throat.

“Speak up, Sam.”

“Oh, uh I was just thinking we may need to stop at a hardware store. There’s no wire in the Impala’s trunk.”

“Already done, son. The truck has everything we need. Dean and I will be using the lightning rods, but I want you to use a crossbow with copper arrows connected to wire. I don’t want you getting near them.”

“Why?” Sam cringed. He was questioning his father. One of his alphas. It felt wrong, but he was too curious and a little put out.

“What are you, Sam?” John’s question and piercing gaze made him shift in his seat and drop his own eyes. That was one instinct he couldn’t fight just yet. He couldn’t challenge an alpha’s stare.

“A hunter, sir.” 

“Yes, but you are an omega.”

“I don’t… understand. It’s not time for my heat yet, and you’ve never doubted my abilities on a hunt before.” He could feel his palms getting clammy as he defied all biological compulsions. It’d been like this for a couple years with his father. For an alpha or beta, this would be very tame and normal behavior. For an omega, it was almost unthinkable. And Sam knew it. 

“Sam…” Dean sighed, his fork clinking on the table as he set it down. 

“Sorry.” Sam closed his eyes in shame. He’d upset Dean. He only ever wanted to make Dean happy and he’d-

“Don’t be sorry. I just know it sucks for you, dude.” Dean’s hand warmed Sam’s shoulder and Sam leaned into it, breathing Dean’s alpha scent for comfort. “Dad’s only concerned because Will o’ the Wisps already have a small power to compel people to follow them to their own deaths. And you are already prone to… you know… you’re an omega. You do what you’re told. It’s just how it is… so this hunt is a little more risky for you.”

As always, Sam understood their concern. He did. But it frustrated him to the point that any pleasure he may have felt by nodding and agreeing to obey their father’s orders on this matter was overshadowed by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are better than pie!


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was fidgeting in his seat as Dean drove down the highway. They’d just crossed the border into Wisconsin and were almost to their destination. 

“What, you got ants in your pants? Spit it out, Sammy.” Dean’s voice rumbled over the softly playing music. Sam sighed in relief. The thoughts had been turning in his mind and he couldn’t seem to get the words out until Dean’s order took away the reluctance.

“Sometimes, I wonder. I know Dad loves me, but… do you think he was disappointed when I turned out to be omega?”

Dean’s burst of laughter startled Sam into freezing his fidgeting hands, and he looked up from his lap to his brother in confusion. Dean glanced at him and, seeing Sam’s confused eyes, wiped the smirk off his face and cleared his throat.

“Sam, we both knew at least a year before your first heat that you were gonna be an omega.” He shrugged it off. Sam’s jaw fell.

“What? How? I didn’t know. I thought I’d be just like you both.”

“Sam… you were always an outgoing kid. Loud and full of questions. You were very independent and a loner. You were assertive and never afraid to push and get your way.” Dean paused before announcing dramatically, “And then it changed.”

“Dean…” Sam sighed.

“No, really! You didn’t always mind moving and hunting and stuff. Then you turned thirteen and suddenly… okay not suddenly… you started wanting to put down roots. You wanted security of a home that wasn’t on wheels. It’s not a bad thing to want, Sammy. It was just a clue. And you got shy around strangers, mostly alphas. You stopped looking people in the eye. You stopped arguing with Dad and just started doing things his way without questioning him.” 

Sam thought back. He remembered being bolder, but he didn’t remember feeling like there was a sudden difference. He felt like… he felt like he felt the same.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Dean nudged him. “Sam, everybody changes before they hit their heat or their rut and pop a knot. If we stayed in one place long enough for you to have a good sex ed class, you’d probably have heard it a billion times.”

“What about you?”

“Me?” Dean laughed again. “I was worse than you. I started getting in fights… with Dad… with the kids at school… some random cashier at a gas station. Mostly over you. I mean, I’d always been protective of you, but it was like… it was MY job and ONLY my job to keep you safe. To keep you happy. You were mine.” As if noticing the intensity of his voice, Dean coughed and chuckled. “I also lifted a bunch of porn mags from every store we stopped at.”

“Did you feel like you were different?”

“Uh… not really. I mean, I realized it when Dad pointed it out to me… but it didn’t feel like it. He uh… he sat me down and had this big talk after I hit my rut. And then he cancelled all my punishments because he said I couldn’t control what I didn’t understand… but that now I knew and there would be no more excuses.”

Sam frowned.

“I didn’t get any special excuses or anything.”

Dean furrowed his brow and made a ‘psh’ sound. 

“Sam, you were the perfect child. You didn’t need any.”

“Yeah… well…” Sam pulled at the hem of his shirt. “So I wasn’t a disappointment?”

“Never. Not to Dad and definitely not to me. I was relieved… when we figured it out. Trust me, Sam… this is right and we all feel that way.”

Sam nodded, trusting his brother’s word. Even if it was in his nature to follow along, his brother made him feel safe. Home. He liked being Dean’s… 

… but did he like it enough to stay? Could he be Dean’s little cub forever? 

Thoughts of Stanford swirled in his head once more. He ached for the chance to be more than just someone’s mate. And the only alpha who’d ever smelled like ‘mate’ just happened to think of him as a baby and always would. 

Would he be willing to stay if Dean felt the same way he did? Or would he still need more?

“You’re thinking too loud again.” Dean’s voice interrupted the fight within and Sam huffed a frustrated sigh.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam was grateful for the calming presence of his alphas as they prepared for the hunt. Though they knew everything they could possibly know about the Will o’ the Wisp from other hunters, they’d still never hunted one before. Sam was always nervous when they went up against something for the first time.

Yes, it seemed like an easy enough hunt. Beings of electrical energy… dissipate the energy by grounding it. Simple enough if you have the right tools. 

Sam pulled on his non-conductive gloves and rubber boots, stomped his feet and shook out his nerves. He made sure the spools of wire were smooth with no tangles. He’d have two shots, if needed. The two arrows on his crossbow were each connected to a metal stake by a long spool of wire. To get the Will o’ the Wisp, he’d have to shove a stake in the ground and hit the Wisp with an arrow, grounding all it’s power. Dean and John both had lightning rods with wire and stakes. 

“Ready?” Dean grinned as he swung his lightning rod around like a sword. Sam looks up from examining his weapon and smiled at Dean over the car. John approached from his truck and furrowed his brow at Dean’s childlike antics until he stopped swinging the lightning rod. 

“C’mon, boys.”

The area was damp and swampy, mud squelching under their rubber boots as they slowly trekked along in the dark. Sam could smell his alphas on high alert. It always made his pulse speed up because his subconscious recognized the scent to mean danger was nearby. It did help him focus, though.

Suddenly, he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck raise up and the tiniest buzzing noise drew his attention to the left. 

“Guys…” Sam whispered, eyes focused on the little white ball of light in the distance. The two alphas, tuned into the voice of the one they needed to protect, turned and saw the light.

Sam waited for an order from one of them, watching as the light bounced in the distance. No order came, but Sam’s senses grew more agitated. The urge to shoot was strong, but he knew he was too far away to get a good shot.

“Guys?” He asked, turning away from the light, as the muddy foot steps sounded beside him. Dean walked past him, all attention on the light as he dragged his lightning rod on the ground. 

“Dean?” Sam asked as his older brother ignored him. “Dad, something is- Dad?” John walked past and dropped his lightning rod to the ground. The two alphas were completely entranced. Sam got over his shock and followed after them. He wondered if he looked like that sometimes. 

“Ugh, I hope not.” He muttered. They got closer to the light and the buzzing got more irritating. As the static in the air got stronger, it really started to hit Sam that he was on this hunt alone. His brother and father were about to be victims to the Wisp if he didn’t stop it and break the hold it had on them.

They were in danger. His alphas were in danger and he was the only one who could save them. The omega they had worried about had to take charge. 

“Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck…” Why didn’t it have a hold on him? Were all the victims alphas? Alphas and betas maybe? “Of course…” It hit him. Omegas obeyed alphas. The Wisp had no hold over him because it had no power over an omega while alphas were there.

When the trio got close enough, Sam took aim with his crossbow again. 

“Dean? You still gone?” He asked, not expecting an answer. He didn’t receive one. With a deep breath, he dropped his stake to the ground and stomped it down with his rubber boot. Then he squeezed the trigger. The wire spool whirred as it spun out.

The air crackled as the arrow shot through the light. The ground thundered as energy was sucked from the light and traveled through the wire to spread out in the dirt and mud. It wasn’t enough. The Wisp was smaller, but still there. It began to bounce towards Sam, looking so innocent and sinister at once.

Without a second thought, Sam grabbed the lightning rod from Dean’s hands and ripped the stake from his pocket, getting it in the ground as fast as possible. 

“Come and get me… He muttered, holding the rod like a baseball bat. As the white ball of light came at him, he swung at it.


	5. Chapter 5

Warmth.

Sam snuggled into the soft bedding that surrounded him. He didn’t know where he was, but that wasn’t unusual and he wasn’t awake enough to care. 

Dean.

He could smell and sense him close by. It was comforting. He felt protected and safe. But he could also feel the tension coming off of the alpha and Sam’s brain struggled to wake up a bit more.

Pain. 

Okay. His head hurt like a fucking bitch, now that he was becoming more aware. 

Sam opened his eyes, slamming them shut once more as a bedside lamp proved to be too bright for him. He buried his face in the pillow with a groan.

“Sam? Sammy, you awake?” Dean’s hands smoothed Sam’s hair back in a comforting motion. There was a click and Sam opened his eyes to a slightly darker room and a concerned brother hovering over him. 

“Wha-? What happened?” Sam asked.

“Well, you saved our asses.” Dean shrugged. “Dad and I would have been dead without you. But you got hurt. It’s still a little fuzzy for me, but when we snapped out of… whatever… it was just in time to see you fly back against a tree. Hit your head pretty hard. But… the wisp was gone, thanks to you.”

“I killed it?”

“Yeah, dude.”

“Good.” Sam sighed. “Where’s Dad?”

“Oh…” The tips of Dean’s ears turned an interesting shade of red. “He’s in another room. I kind of accidentally got a little overprotective and territorial. I think I might have growled at him for getting to close to you.”

Sam’s eyes went wide and Dean rubbed at the back of his head, awkwardly. 

“Dude… you scared me, okay? But you’re safe now, so… I’ll let him know.”

Dean stood from the chair the bed, where he’d been sitting by Sam’s side for who knew how long, and started towards the motel room door. Sam watched as his foot steps slowed and then he pivoted around.

“I could just call his room… no need to leave you here alone.” Dean cleared his throat and avoided looking at Sam as he grabbed the phone from the table. 

Sam nodded, both relieved and amused at Dean’s behavior. The movement made his head throb and he cringed, but pushed himself up to a sitting position. No dizziness. That was good. Just pain. He didn’t pay attention to Dean’s phone conversation as he took stock of himself.

“He’s gonna turn in for the night. You hungry?” Dean flopped down on the bed at Sam’s feet.

“How long…?”

“Not long. We can still get pizza delivered if you want.” 

Sam shrugged, not really hungry but knowing he’d regret not eating in the morning.

“I’m fine with whatever you want.” He answered. Dean shifted quietly on the bed. “What?” Sam asked.

“It’s stupid, okay? I just need… what do you want? Okay? I just feel like I gotta take care of you and that means ordering pizza or driving to the grocery store for carrots and apple juice if that’s what you want. So just… okay?” Dean seemed almost angry with himself and Sam smirked, loving times when his alphas were overcome by their own instincts since he had that problem more often. 

“Pizza is fine, Dean. Just… go light on the sauce. If I do feel sick, I won’t want to see a return visit of tomato sauce.” 

“Dude, gross. I didn’t need that thought.” But Dean grinned and grabbed the phone once again.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam kicked the blanket off his bed. He was so hot. 

He pulled at his soaked shirt, throwing it away from him. He was panting as he scooted out of his shorts and kicked them off the bed with the blanket. He spread out on the mattress, exposing his sweaty flesh to the cool air. He couldn’t get comfortable. He needed… something.

He breathed in to give a deep sigh, but his breath caught in his throat. That smell.

“Mate.” He moaned quietly. Not just alpha. It was so strong and so good. And he needed to get closer.

Sam slipped out of his bed and silently crept closer to the source of the scent. He found his mate on the next bed, one foot sticking out of the covers at the bottom of the bed.

He crouched down, gently lifting the blanket away, and kissed the foot. It twitched and pulled away. 

Sam ran his hands up the leg, breathing deeply as the scent got stronger. His hands trailed up and his eyes zeroed on the bulge under black boxer briefs. He leaned in and gently rubbed his face against it, causing it to stiffen.

As his mate’s groin slowly came to life, Sam felt the heat in his own and and ache in his ass. It felt so empty and he whimpered as every feeling got stronger.

He leaned in and his hot breath moistened the black cloth that covered his mate’s cock. Sam opened his mouth and began to suckle, feeling the member stiffen through the cloth and his mouth watered around it. 

“Wha- hey… god… Sammy?” Dean’s sleepy voice resonated in Sam’s head. It was like wind chimes and music and… everything.

“Deeeean…” His sigh was muffled by Dean’s cock.

“Sammy, get off… what are you-?” Dean’s hands pushed halfheartedly at Sam and the omega obeyed, a pain filled whine escaping as he parted from Dean.

“Fuck, Sam… you… god, you smell good.” Dean’s voice lost all sternness as it filled with wonder. 

“Mate…” Sam said. There was very little coherent thought going through his mind, but he saw when the alpha in Dean recognized and agreed with him. 

“Mate…” Dean pulled Sam up, onto the bed, and shoved him face first onto the mattress. 

Sam grinned and lifted his ass in the air, displaying for his alpha to see. As he turned his head, he could see Dean shoving his boxer briefs off and almost falling off the bed in his hurry. 

When Dean’s hands firmly grabbed hold of Sam’s hips, he pushed back to grind his ass against Dean’s erection impatiently. As the fingers tightened and bruised Sam’s side, Dean growled as Sam’s actions were seen as a challenge.

“Omega be still.” Dean’s voice rumbled through Sam’s body, filling him with shivers, and his body went lax with compliance. Then Sam felt two fingers slip in without resistance. “Fuck, I love nature…” Dean mumbled in appreciation at Sam’s already slickened hole.

Sam could feel the low keening building in his chest. He wailed with desperation as Dean’s fingers drove him to the brink of insanity. It was torturously pleasurable and just not enough. He needed more. 

“Shhhhh….” Dean’s voice soothe the ache in his chest and he obeyed, his wails softening to whimpers. He didn’t care that he’d never been fucked before, he needed it. This was his mate. While he’d always been content to bask in the scent of alpha in the past, he needed his mate more than he’d ever needed anything before.

Finally, Dean pulled Sam’s body against his own and sank into him. It was slow at first, and Sam shivered as wave upon wave of pleasure ran over him. He cried out in ecstasy when Dean thrust again, more powerful and faster than before.

As Dean built a rhythm, the sound of flesh hitting flesh filled the air. The scent of alpha and omega joining as one surrounded them. It was everything Sam wanted and ever needed. It was right.

Dean finished with three forceful, almost painful, thrusts and his mouth clamped on to Sam’s neck, claiming him. Sam came with him, the sharp pain pushing him over the edge. Nothing had ever felt so good before. 

Sam’s mind began to haze over and his eyes drooped. One of Dean’s arms circled him and gently lay them both down on the bed as they stayed bound together by Dean’s knot. 

As Sam started to fall asleep, he felt Dean’s mouth gently nibbling and licking at the broken skin on his neck. 

“Mine…” He heard Dean whisper before everything faded away.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam awoke to the feeling of warm skin wrapped around him. He was surrounded by his mate’s scent and he instinctively pushed back against the body behind him. 

“Mmm… Sammy…” Dean’s voice murmured sleepily against Sam’s neck, his hot breathe playing over the inflamed bite mark. Sam could feel Dean’s body begin to respond as he rocked against Sam and held him tight. “Sa…. hmmm…”

“Dean.” Sam pleaded, needing more. 

“Sam!” Dean stiffened and Sam turned to grab at Dean’s stiffening cock and suckle at his neck, but Dean pushed him away and scrambled off the bed. “Fuck!” 

Sam sat up and scooted back against the headboard, bringing his knees up as his chest exploded with pain. 

“Dean…” He gasped in confusion.

“Fuck… fuck! Sam, we just… did we? Fuck, your neck! Oh god!” Dean pulled a pair of jeans on, stumbling as he did. 

All Sam could understand in the midst of this unexpected heat was that his mate was rejecting him. He wasn’t good enough. Pathetically, he tried to reach out a hand to Dean. 

Dean cursed under his breath some more, pulled at his short hair, and stormed out of the room. He left an inconsolable Sam alone in the bed, tears filling his eyes and spilling over his devastated face.

~

Dean knocked on John’s door, shaking. He paced, bare foot with only a pair of jeans on, as he waited for his father to answer the door. As soon as the door swung open, Dean charged inside.

“Dean, what-?” John stopped and sniffed the air. He looked almost dog like as he did. “You smell mated.”

Then his eyes narrowed.

“You smell like Sam. You smell mated to my youngest child!” His lips curled up in a snarl and Dean instinctively gave a warning rumble deep in his chest.

“My mate- fuck!” Dean pulled back, sucking in a deep breath and running his hands through his hair as he tried to control himself. He’d been having trouble keeping his instincts under control since bringing an unconscious Sam back to the room the night before.

John sighed. 

“Okay… just… tell me what happened. How? You can have sex, but you can’t mate unless the omega is in heat. And Sam’s heat isn’t even due for another two weeks.”

“I know how it works, Dad. I took sex ed in school.” Dean snarked. He sat down in a rickety wooden chair with a huff. “I don’t… it came early, I guess. In the middle of the night.”

“Okay… but this hasn’t happened before. Sam’s always just been… clingy… during his heats. Needing to feel safe and surrounded by alphas. And…”

“It was different. I woke up to him…. doing stuff. Touching me. And, fuck, he smelled so good. I couldn’t…. no omega had ever smelled so perfect, so right. Like… I don’t know the words. And I needed-”

“He smelled like mate.” John nodded, understanding. “That’s how your mom smelled to me. It’s how we met. I followed my nose.”

“Yeah… mate.”

“Seems like you both got the living shit scared out of you and the thought of losing each other… and your body’s kicked it up a notch to make sure that wouldn’t happen.” John shrugged. “Can’t say I’m surprised… you always treated him as if he were yours and he worships the ground you walk on.”

“So it’s okay? This… feeling so much more is normal?”

“Yes.”

“Okay… um… now what?”

“Well, he’s probably not in his right mind. You know how Sam gets during normal heats. Barely any higher thought, just instinct and need, so you’ll need to take care of him until this heat is over. And knowing you… you probably panicked and left your poor omega alone… in the middle of the most intense heat he’s ever experienced… thinking he’s been rejected by his mate.” John leaned back on his bed and raised his eyebrows as he saw Dean’s eyes widen.

“Oh shit!” Dean slammed the door open and sprinted back to his own room, hoping he hadn’t broken Sam too much with his departure.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam wasn’t on the bed where Dean had left him. 

“Sammy?” He called out. Turning on the lights, he searched the room. “Please, Sam… I wasn’t rejecting you, I promise.”

Sighing, Dean gave in and closed his eyes. He tried to clear his mind of all thoughts and just rely on feelings and instincts. He was Dean Winchester. He could find his damn mate.

“Dammit…” He opened his eyes. The whole room was swathed in the scent of him and Sam. Then a small sniffle drew his attention to the closet. He approached slowly, not wanting to startle Sam. He slowly slid the door open and saw the traumatized omega curled up in the corner.

“Oh Sammy…” He reached in and grasped Sam’s hands, gently pulling him out into the light of the room. Sam’s face was red and swollen, wet with tears. Dean gathered him in his arms, holding him and feeling Sam relax against him.

“I don’t reject you, mate.” Dean whispered. “Mine.”

~

Sam opened his eyes, basking in the morning light that streamed in through the curtains on the hotel window. He tried to roll over and found himself restrained by a pair of strong arms. Strong, safe arms. 

But he needed a shower. Carefully as he could, he started to extricate himself from Dean’s hold.

“Mmm… Sam, no. It’s too early.” Dean’s sleepy voice mumbled.

“I’m just going to take a shower.”

Dean’s eyes shot open and he sat up, wide awake. 

“Sam? You’re not in heat anymore.” 

“No, I… no.” Hazy memories of the last few days began to play in Sam’s mind and he reached a hand up to touch his neck. “Dean?”

“Sam, it’s okay.”

“Okay? I… I practically forced you to mate with me. How is that okay? I fucked up any chance you ever had at happiness. I’m so sorry. God, Dean, I’m sorry.” Sam gasped. 

“Sam!” Dean’s booming voice silenced Sam’s and the omega lowered his head in submission. “You didn’t force me into anything. Do you really think I couldn’t have stopped you? You can’t even disobey me now… you think you could during a heat?”

“But…”

“Face it, Sam. This was meant to be. It always was. Even Dad saw it coming.”

“Why was it so… different?”

“Because our bodies told us it was time. Time to mate, or whatever. It’s fine. It wasn’t just you. Damn, Sam… it was… it was definitely both of us.” Dean laughed nervously.

“But people mate for life. I’ve always wanted you but, you could have had a chance with anyone else…”

“No. Nope. You can mark anyone else, you can technically mate them… but only your true mate is going to smell like…. like that. This is good, I swear.”

Sam nodded, one finger running along his marked neck as he smiled shyly. 

“Okay. Um… shower.” He turned and walked away from Dean. He ignored the tug in his chest when he got further from the brother turned mate. It was a lot to take in. He let the bathroom door click shut and he leaned against it with a deep breath.

He was happy. He knew he felt happy. He’d never felt so… comforted, safe, protected, wanted… just right. Sure, there was always a feeling of safety and security when in the presence of alphas, especially his alphas, but never this much. It felt warm. 

But when his mind drifted to the Stanford pamphlet he’d been looking at not long ago, his guts twisted sickeningly. It was everything he’d ever wanted, but it felt like betrayal. 

The worst part was he knew it was biology and chemistry making him feel so bad about it. He knew it wasn’t his own… dreams. He dreamt of making something of himself… of being more than just another omega. He always wanted to see what he could do if he had the freedom to pursue it.

But how could he leave now? The thought of being away from Dean-

He fell to his knees and leaned over the toilet, retching quietly. The thought of being away from Dean was too much at the moment. He didn’t know if it would ever not be too much.

He’d already been accepted. He’d already sent in his reply way before Stanford’s deadline. 

He could still back out. If he needed. If Dean demanded.

He had until the end of summer to decide.


	9. Chapter 9

Being mated was different, Sam discovered over the next week.

He wasn’t conceited, but he was used to having people stare at him whenever he went out. Mostly alphas. He knew that he, as an omega, gave off a scent that attracted them. It was like his body knew he was mated and who he was mated to. His scent, his pheromones, his whatever seemed to be more specific. It drove Dean crazy with lust and caretaker instincts, but everyone else stopped noticing him at all.

Even his father said he smelled like Sam, but almost like he was a beta.

Not only did his being mated affect those around him, but Sam found his own instincts focusing on Dean. He outright ignored a direct order from a different alpha just because Dean didn’t like the guy that gave it. 

Being around Dean made him feel whole. Making Dean happy made him feel complete. It was like he began and ended within Dean. 

And it felt great.

So great, he wondered how he’d ever thought his crush was just a crush. How could they not have realized their bond before? 

So great he thought he had to be crazy to consider leaving Dean for Stanford.

“Sam, have you heard a word I’ve been saying?” His father’s voice startled him out of his thoughts and he lifted his chin from the hands that were supporting him over the diner table.

“Sir? No… uh, sorry.” He glanced to his side and saw Dean smirking, making Sam blush.

Their father sighed.

“Boys… I understand this is a new development for you, but the hunt doesn’t stop for new mates. There is no honeymoon time off here. Evil is still out there and I need you focused.”

“Yes, sir.” Both sons replied. 

To make it up to their dad, Dean decided that Sam should ride in the truck with John until they got to their next motel. He’d been hogging Sam enough and needed to share, he said. Sam just rolled his eyes, but nodded and climbed into the large black truck with his father. 

Not ten minutes on the road and Sam’s stomach was twisting uncomfortably. He felt like he’d swallowed a heavy rock. 

“You okay, son?” John asked.

“Yeah… probably just the rough road right after eating.” Sam mumbled. He checked the side mirror to make sure Dean was following behind them.

He double checked just to make sure. It could have been some other black classic car he’d seen.

He turned in his seat to look out the back window. Dean looked bored… or pissed… or annoyed. But he was there.

What if Dean needed him? 

He grabbed the rearview mirror and turned it so he could see-

“Sam!”

“What?!” Sam yelled back. He promptly snapped his mouth shut when he realized he’d just yelled at his father and he put the mirror back in it’s place. “Sorry.”

“He’s fine.” John said. “Believe me, you’d know if he wasn’t.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know. It’s only been a week or so. It’ll get easier.” John reached down under his seat and grabbed a manila folder to hand to Sam. “Now… why don’t you go over my research and see if you find anything I may have missed.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been so long since I last posted a chapter. I'm so sorry. My desktop was down for a few months and I hate writing big fics on the laptop.

John had said that the pull between Sam and Dean would get easier with time. That it would loosen it's hold on them. Sam was finding the opposite to be true. 

It had been almost a month and Sam felt needier and clingier than ever. He just wasn't comfortable being too far from Dean. And now that he suspected he was coming down with a flue, he couldn't stand not being able to touch his alpha. It was why he was curled up in a most uncomfortable way in the front seat of the Impala so that he could ride with his head in Dean's lap. Dean's hand absently carding through his hair had him purring contently.

“How's your stomach?” Dean asked, eyes on the road and mind on Sam.

“Better than it was earlier.” Sam wrinkled his nose as he remembered hurling last night's dinner up that morning at a gas station. The gentle rumble of the car and Dean's soothing touches seem to have calmed his stomach for the time being. 

“Well, I think Dad's going to stop soon. He's been slowing down whenever we pass by exit signs... probably to see if they list any food he wants.” Dean looked down to see Sam watching him from his spot on Dean's lap. “You gonna be okay to eat?”

Sam nodded silently.

“I'll let Dad know you aren't feeling well. Maybe he'll let us find a motel for the night.” Dean's words were light and hopeful, but his tone of voice suggested they'd be stopping whether or not their father agreed to it.

Dean had been right, as twenty minutes later they were pulling into a no name diner in a no name town. Sam followed closely behind Dean as they went in and met up with their father in a booth.

Even in the booth, Sam couldn't help but lay his head on Dean's shoulder. He stayed quiet, letting Dean pick out and order food for him. He just didn't like being around other people lately. It made him feel almost itchy with unease. 

It was clear that Dean was feeling at least something similar by the way he kept his arm around Sam and glared at anyone who got too close. 

“Are either of you listening to me?” John's voice caught their attention. Sam ducked his head with embarrassment and shame at being caught ignoring an alpha. 

“Sorry, Dad. Just a little distracted. I think Sam's getting sick.” Dean said. 

John raised his eyebrows and leaned back against his seat, arms spreading out to rest on top of the booth back.

“Oh?”

“His stomach has been bothering him the last few days and he's getting all clingy.” Dean shrugged.

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean 'is that all'? It's enough.” Dean growled, glaring at their father. Sam pressed his body into Dean's, his mate's angry growl setting off a small self defense instinct.

“No, you're right. It is enough. You need to protect your mate, obviously.” John nodded. “I just wanted to know if there were any other symptoms. You seem to be just as clingy as he is... and much more possessive.”

“Yeah, what's up with that? I thought the bond was supposed to settle down... but I want to rip out the throats of anyone who comes within three feet of Sam.”

“Smells a little different, doesn't he?” John asked casually as their food arrived. Sam kept his eyes down on his oatmeal, listening passively to the conversation between alphas.

“Yeah, so? Omega scents change with mating. Everybody knows that.” Dean shoved some bacon in his mouth.

“Alright, Dean... but I think you should stop at a drug store before we get a motel.”

“To get some Pepto?”

John's next words were the last ones either brother thought they would hear, though it seemed obvious in hindsight.

“To get a pregnancy test.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sam paced the motel room, occasionally looking back at the bathroom where a small pink stick sat on the vanity. His thumbnail was bitten and torn to the quick and he kept nervously nibbling at it. 

He was glad their father didn't want to stick around for this and had gone to a bar to make some extra cash. Sam didn't think he would be able to keep himself together right now if anyone else were around him. He was a bundle of nerves and could only handle the presence of his own alpha.

In a frustrating contrast, Dean was leaning back against the headboard of their bed with a self-satisfied grin on his face. 

Sam got it, he actually did understand. In Dean's mind, knocking Sam up during their first mated heat was some sort of proof of his masculinity. All alphas were like that, Sam thought with a sigh. As if they were the ones who did all the work. Forget about the fact that the omega was going to be creating and carrying an actual human being inside their body for nine months. Alpha knotted his mate up nice and good and knocked them up. 

Sam stopped his foot steps and rolled his eyes at Dean.

“What?” Dean asked, seeing Sam's face. 

Sam ducked his head, a hot flush of embarrassment running through his body at his own disrespect to his mate. But he knew Dean wasn't upset. He sounded like he was keeping from laughing.

“How can you be so calm?” Sam asked. “We are hunters, Dean. We can't... how do we bring a new life into this fucked up existence? It's just not safe...” 

“C'mere.” Dean sat up and waved Sam closer. Sam obeyed, coming to sit on the bed next to Dean. He was enveloped in a comforting embrace. “Nothing bad will happen to you as long as I am around. I will protect you and any babies we have.”

Sam melted into Dean's arms, letting his head fall to Dean's shoulders. Dean's words comforted him, but it didn't get rid of the heavy knot of stress in his chest. He turned his head and inhaled, pushing his nose against the area behind Dean's ear where pheromones were strong. Dean knew of this method of self soothing that omegas used, and encouraged it. He brought a hand up and skriched at Sam's hair while his mate scented him.

He had to fight from responding by rubbing the side of his head against Sam. Just as Sam wanted to be covered in Dean's scent, he wanted to cover Sam in it. Wanted everyone to know who Sam belonged to.

Though, if their father was correct, Sam would be smelling of him anyway as a little combination of them started to grow.

His watch beeped.

Sam jumped, sniffling, and gave a shaky sigh.

“Time to see the results...” 

Dean nodded. He kept a comforting hand on the small of Sam's back and followed Sam to the bathroom.

Sam grabbed the stick, not looking at it. He breathed deeply and counted to three before he glanced down at it.

Tears began to well in his eyes and a giant lump in his throat made breathing suddenly difficult. He didn't even realize what he wanted until he saw the results.

“Well?” Dean asked, anxiously awaiting.

Sam turned to look at him with a wet smile and shrugged. 

“We're going to be daddies.”

Dean's eyes widened and he snatched the pregnancy test from him. “Daddies?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, giddy laughter bubbling up and out. “Us.”

“Wow...” Dean stared at the two pink lines on the test for a moment before he set it down and slowly sank to his knees in front of Sam. He laid a soft palm against Sam's stomach. “Wow...”

He looked back up at Sam and saw his mate even more clearly than before. Powerful, amazing, god-like as he was growing a new Winchester inside. Dean was in awe as he stared into Sam's eyes.

“Wow...”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here ya go. new chapter as a christmas present from me.

A couple weeks passed and Sam's pregnancy was becoming more obvious. Oh, he wasn't showing yet, but it seemed like every other symptom was coming on strong. From the strange cravings (Dean actually walked in on him eating a raw onion... a raw onion) to the frequent bathroom stops.

Hormones were the biggest thing and it affected both the omega and the alpha responsible for him.

“What do you mean, I can't come on the hunt?” Sam hissed, face going red. Dean could almost see a vein bulging out of his temple.

“Sam, you know it's not safe.” Dean tried.

“You mean I'm not safe. You don't think I'm capable of taking care of myself or the baby!”

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was trying to stay calm, but Sam was trying his last nerve. He'd never seen the omega like this before. Sam rarely, if ever, yelled at Dean.

“You know that's not it. You are perfectly capable of-” Dean was interrupted when a pair of jeans was thrown at his face. “That's it! Omega be still and listen to me!”

The order was immediately obeyed. Sam ducked his head and a low whimper sounded in his throat. Dean approached and put his hand on the back of Sam's neck. He held firmly, letting Sam feel the security of his grip.

“Sammy, you know you are a very talented hunter. You are a force to reckoned with. But you have more than yourself to think about now. You know this. You want to keep the baby safe, yeah?” His voice was gentle. Sam nodded and his arms went around his stomach in a protective manner. “Okay, so you know that putting you in danger also puts our baby in danger.”

Sam sniffled and nodded again. Dean put a finger under Sam's chin and lifted so he could look in Sam's teary eyes.

“I'm sorry, Alpha.” Sam whispered.

“I know.”

“I know I can't go. I just... it felt like you thought I was weak or... I don't know. I got so angry.” Sam tried to explain. Dean knew everything was confusing for Sam. His body was going through a tornado of changes and nobody could keep a level head during a time like that.

“Stay home and protect the baby. Dad and I will be back soon. It's just a black dog.” Dean pulled Sam close and kissed his forehead. “Call me if you need anything.”

And then he was gone.

Sam wiped his face and looked around the room. It was a mess. And he made it that way. With a sigh, he began to clean up the room. It was the least he could do after losing it with Dean.

He was glad it hadn't been in public. Not only would it be embarrassing for Dean, unable to control his own mate. But Sam would have been embarrassed too. He would feel like a failure as an omega. He did feel like that sometimes. He was ashamed that there had been a time when he thought having a baby would be bad. Now he couldn't imagine not wanting the little life inside of him.

As he picked up the dirty clothes, he smiled and rubbed his hand over his belly. A little thing that would be a perfect little mix of Sam and Dean. 

He wanted to be a good Dad. He already knew Dean would be… he practically raised Sam, afterall. Sam had always been on the receiving end of that care and protection. Now it was his turn. 

He couldn’t wait to hold their baby. A tiny bundle of… joy. It sounded so cliche, but Sam couldn’t think of any other word for it. And he couldn’t wait until the little bump started to form. According to the doctor Dean had brought him to, he was about six weeks along now. 

As he packed away the last of the clothing, Sam flopped onto the bed. He was exhausted. And he missed Dean already. 

He grabbed Dean’s pillow and buried his face in, smelling his mate, before he settled for a nap.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am having too much fun writing pregnant sam. let me know if you get sick of it and want me to skip ahead.

Sam threw another pair of jeans to the ground in disgust. He couldn't get them buttoned up. And he didn't even look pregnant. He just looked... thicker around the middle. He wasn't expecting to have clothing problems until he had an adorable baby bump.

He glared at his reflection for another moment before throwing on a pair of sweatpants with a huff.

Dean had woken up a few minutes earlier and was silently watching Sam. The poor guy was going through so much. The morning sickness (which he totally didn't get how they came up with that name... more like when-the fuck-ever sickness), the mood swings, the constant peeing, and now this. Dean just wanted to make him feel better.

“Beautiful mate,” He said quietly, just loud enough to get Sam's attention. “Come here.”

Sam obediently left the mirror he clearly hated so much and approached the bed that Dean was still in. Dean reached out and stroked a hand over Sam's belly.

“Mmm, you're showing.”

“I look fat.”

“No, you look like you are carrying my baby.” Dean insisted. He grinned. “You know, the only reason you are showing so soon is because you were too skinny to begin with. Nowhere else for it to go but out.”

Sam shrugged and sat down on the bed, leaning into Dean's warmth.

“I think we need to get you new clothes. Some to wear now and some to grow into. And Dad and I have a surprise for you.”

A little sparkle lit up in Sam's eyes. He'd always liked surprises. It meant someone had been thinking about him and cared. Dean knew him and his feelings all too well.

~

Sam rarely ever got brand new clothes. Growing up as a hunter on the road, they'd never had the luxury of buying nice things. Up until recently, he'd still been in Dean's hand-me-downs. As he grew to Dean's height, they started outgrowing at the same time and so both of their clothes came from thrift shops and garage sales.

But Dean took Sam to an actual store. And not even a Wal-Mart or Target, but a maternity store. A whole store dedicated to pregnancy. There were even ‘baby bumps’ you could try on to help you shop for bigger sizes.

“How can I help you today?” A saleswoman approached the couple. Sam looked to Dean to speak for him. He hadn’t been out much since the pregnancy, but he found he didn’t like being around strangers. It made him feel vulnerable.

“Clothes… for now and a few months from now.” Dean said, his hand on the small of Sam’s back. They got set up with a changing room and a few basic denim jeans with a stretch waist. 

“Dean, this looks ridiculous.” Sam complained as he tugged at the elastic waistband. 

“You won’t be thinking that when your stomach is filling it up.” Dean said. He walked a circle around Sam and nodded. Then he handed Sam the pregnancy belly to put on. The pants fit snugly around, but not too tight. “I’ll go find you some shirts.”

Sam nodded and sighed. In the mirror, he saw the pants did look less goofy when completed by a pregnant belly. He hoped Dean would let him get some regular pants too. He knew he could still get away with them if he just got a bigger size than usual.

“Here ya go, Sammy.” Dean brought back a pile of shirts, most of them closely resembling shirts he already owned except that they got wider at the belly and looks almost bell shaped. He put one on to appease his alpha. He rolled his eyes as he looked down at the pregnancy belly covered by the shirt. 

Then he looked up and saw Dean’s eyes dark with lust. And he looked down at himself again.

“What, really?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“Hell yeah, Sammy. Look at yourself.” Dean turned him to the mirror. Sam put his hands over the fake belly and saw what he would look like as he grew. A real pregnant omega. A parent. He felt his eyes get misty as he thought about it. 

“Nothing sexier than the sight of you carrying my Pup.”

Sam snorted out a laugh, drying the tears in his eyes. “Pup?”

“Yeah, why not? Other people call their babies Peanut or something equally as goofy. Why not Pup?”

“You make it sound like I’m a dog about to give birth to a litter.”

“Mmm… maybe someday. A whole litter of pups. A hockey team of babies.” Dean raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Not if you want to keep hunting.” Sam said it more as a joke, but there was a string of truth to it. Dean knew constantly being on the road was already bad with Sam being pregnant with one baby. Trying to cart around a whole bunch of kids and possibly putting them in danger was something Dean didn’t want to think about. His hunting days were limited if he wanted to make a family with Sam.

Which brought him to the surprise he and John had set up.

“Pick out your clothes, Sammy. Time to go home.” Dean gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and left the changing room to wait up by the registers. He picked out a few ginger mint lollipops that were supposed to help with morning sickness and put those on the counter while he waited.

~

“Dean, I thought we were going back to the motel?” Sam asked as Dean drove passed the street he would need to turn on.

“No, I said we were going home.”

“Uh…” Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

“Travelling like we do isn’t good for the baby or for you. And I want you to have a regular doctor and regular doctor appointments. At least for the duration of the pregnancy. So…. Dad and I decided to rent a house.”

“What?” Sam’s eyes got huge. He watched out the window as Dean slowed the car and he found John’s truck in a driveway. A small house, but a house. For almost a year, they would have a place to live.

“And I got a job at a shop, working on cars. Dad’s gonna be tending bar. All you gotta do is take care of the home and yourself.”

“You did that for me? You got a house?” Sam started crying. Happy tears, but Dean still hated seeing them. His most basic instincts said tears=sad omega.

“Yeah, well… ya know, couldn’t deal with all the pee breaks. We were making terrible driving time because of you.” Dean shrugged. Sam just sighed happily and nuzzled his way into Dean’s right arm.

“Thank you.”


	14. Chapter 14

The house wasn't anything fancy. Just a little two bedroom one story with a small yard and and unfinished basement. But to Sam, it was the most beautiful thing ever and he enjoyed making it his own and getting comfortable.

He had a home. He could decorate it however he wanted. He could could get to know neighbors. He could send and receive mail.

Mail...

He was reminded of the pamphlet sitting in the bottom of his duffel. Stanford. He hadn't thought about that since he and Dean first got together. It got shoved even further back in his mind after he'd found out he was pregnant. Now he could clearly see the baby forming in his belly and he couldn't see a future that didn't involve his family.

He should really just dig the pamphlet out and throw it away. He didn't need it anymore.

Sam sighed and went back to sorting the mail, leaving the bills for his alphas to take care of. He'd do it next time he had to empty the duffel bag.

He had a few hours before Dean and their father came home from their jobs. He wanted to make a dinner for them, but he'd always been a disaster in the kitchen. They never had stayed in any one place long enough for Sam to learn anything from the basic home ec classes geared towards omegas. He could make coffee... but that was about it. Dean had been the one feeding him his whole life.

After he looked through the cupboards and refrigerator, he decided he would call for pizza later. Right now, he just wanted a nap. He'd been crampy all day and he just wanted to sleep it off.

He was awakened by soft caresses over his skin. He rolled and snuggled into it, breathing deep the scent of Dean, and he opened his eyes.

“Alpha.” He sighed, sleepily.

“Hey, Sammy… you been asleep long?”

“Dean! Oh, I was going to order a pizza and have it ready when you guys got home. I overslept, I’m sorry.” Sam flushed with embarrassment at having been caught napping.

“Dude, don’t worry about it. It’s normal for you need the rest. Your body is working hard, okay? Dad picked up sandwiches on his way home, anyway. You hungry?”

Sam thought about it, his stomach twisted painfully at the thought of food. “Not really.”

“You eaten today?”  
Sam shook his head.

“Okay, then you gotta eat.” 

Sam nodded. Of course he would if Dean told him to. He let the alpha take his hand and pull him up from the bed, but a cramp had him bending over and clutching his stomach.

“Sam! You okay?” The sharp scent of worry and fear blasted off of Dean in an instant. Sam took a few deep breaths before standing up straight.

“I’m fine. Just been cramping up a lot today. Probably just the baby growing and squishing everything else.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Not eating can’t be helping either. Come on, let’s get some food in you.” Dean put an arm around Sam and guided him to the kitchen where John was waiting with fresh food for both of them. 

The first bite reminded Sam’s stomach that it was empty and he devoured his sandwich before he even started on his caffeine free soda. Dean failed at hiding his amused grin at sam’s ravenous hunger.

~

Sam startled awake.

He couldn’t figure out what woke him up from his peaceful sleep. He was wrapped up in his mate, warm and comfortable and- a cramp hit him and he couldn’t hold back a painful moan. The arm around him tightened slightly and then Dean’s sleepy voice was in his ear.

“Wass wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Sam panted through the pain until it faded away again. 

“You hurt?” Dean’s voice was a little more clear as he started to wake. He shifted behind Sam, and then froze. “You’re wet?”

“What?” Sam took a moment to take stock of his body. His backside felt sticky. He reached back and touched his pants. Dean pushed the blanket off of them and swore as he saw the dark staining the bed and Sam’s pants under the moonlight from the window.

“Shit. Shit.”

Blood. Sam was bleeding. He felt a spike of panic before another cramp took over and he curled in on himself. Dean wrapped around him until the pain went away and then he scrambled up from the bed, flicking the light on.

“Dad!” He yelled out the door, not willing to leave Sam to get him. “Daaaad!”

Sam sat silently, working his way up to hyperventilating. He looked up at Dean. His alpha. His protector. He would make everything better.

“Sam, we gotta get you to a hospital. Sam? C’mon…” Dean was gentle.

“Dean, what the hell is with-” John stopped when he saw the blood on the bed and Dean helping Sam to stand. “I’ll get the car.”

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was small, lost. It broke Dean’s heart. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Sammy. Everything is gonna be fine. The doctors will know what to do.” He stopped helping Sam to stand and decided to carry him instead. “It’ll be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.”


	15. Chapter 15

Sam was curled on his side, looking so much smaller in the hospital bed. Dean sat forward in the plastic chair by the bed and held Sam’s hand. His thumb gently stroked around the IV, careful not to jiggle it.

“Dean, I’m scared.” Sam whispered.

“I know.” He had no words of comfort, just his presence and physical support.

“Winchester?” An authoritative, yet gentle voice sounded from the doorway. Dean looked up at Sam’s doctor, an old alpha man with white hair and a kind face. “Sir, if I could speak to you outside?”

Dean nodded and squeezed Sam’s hand before standing. He glanced at John, who was sitting by the window, and received a small nod and smile. Dean followed the doctor out. Doctors rarely gave the diagnosis to an omega in an alpha was present with them. Health concerns, whether they be positive or negative, were better received by omegas when they came from family.

“How is he?” Dean asked quietly as he closed the door behind him. “How- how’s the baby?”

“I’m afraid Sam lose the baby… through no fault of his own.” The doctor made sure to add that and Dean wanted to glare at him for even suggesting that he would place any blame on Sam. but he left it alone. Some alphas would.

“What- why? Was there anything I could have done? Taken better care of him or- God…” Dean bit his knuckles.

“Sometimes these things just happen. Though his progesterone levels are low… but without knowing what they were before, I don’t know if it’s because of the miscarriage or if it caused it. So I would suggest a progesterone supplement next time… if you two decide to try again.”

“Will Sammy be okay?”

“Physically, yes. I’d like to schedule him for a D&C tomorrow morning. He will be under a general anesthetic, so he will be groggy when you take him home. He should be able to return to regular daily activities after a few days.”

“A D and… what?”

“It’s… a surgical procedure to remove the fetu- the baby.” The doctor sighed. “It has to come out.”

“So, physically he’ll be okay?”

“Yes. Physically. Mentally… emotionally… he’s an omega, Mr. Winchester. He’s already bonded with that baby on a level no alpha or beta could imagine. You will know best how to care for him, but we will send you home with a list of therapists who specialize in these situations.”

Dean nodded and breathed a shaky sigh.

“I need… I don’t know how to tell him.” He confessed.

“Take a moment. Let yourself feel the loss before you try to be the rock. You both lost something and you both deserve to grieve as you need.” The doctor placed a warm hand on Dean’s shoulder and Dean soaked in the comfort and strength from the other alpha.

“Thanks.”

~

John came out of his corner after Dean left the room. Thought Dean had always taken the biggest role of caregiver when it came to Sam, especially since they mated, Sam was still John’s youngest son. The little omega that Mary had always wanted and never got to see.

“My baby boy…” He murmured as he approached and placed a hand to Sam’s cheek. Sam looked up with watery eyes.

“Dad,” Sam sighed. Even though John wasn’t his mate, he was family and knew his presence would give Sam some comfort. It wasn’t the first time the family had been to the hospital, but it was the first time that it wasn’t caused by an injury or some sort. It was unfamiliar territory for them all.

He also knew, if his suspicions were correct, he was going to need to be strong for both of his songs. Dean would need someone to be strong for him while he tried to be Sam’s support.

“No matter what happens, I’m here for you.” He said before giving a gentle pat on Sam’s shoulder and pulling back.

The click of the door caught both of their attention and John saw the sadness and determination in Dean’s face. Dean looked to him and gave a small shake of the head, breaking John’s heart.

“I think I’ll go get a cup of joe.” He cleared his throat as his voice came out gruff with emotion. He excused himself from the room. Dean and Sam needed to be with each other for this conversation.

“Dean? What did the doctor say?” Sam looked up at his older brother, his lover, his mate and protector.

“Sammy…” Dean sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Sam’s thigh. “Sammy, the baby’s gone.”

For a moment, Sam could swear he heard the ocean in his ears as Dean’s words washed over him. The air was sucked from the room and his fingers felt numb.

“But… no.” His chest felt tight and he wrapped his arms around his stomach where the baby had been growing. He felt… he didn’t even know how he felt.

“Sam, you’re having surgery in the morning to get it out.”

“No!” Sam jerked away from Dean, feeling betrayed that Dean would even agree to something like that.

“Yes. It’s too dangerous to let it pass on it’s own because of how much you’ve already bled out.” 

Sam looked up, wanting to either swipe his fist across Dean’s face or bury himself in Dean’s chest. Two extremes at war with another. But as he looked, really looked, he saw Dean’s normally bright green eyes were dull with grief. He let a sob escape.

“They’ll take our baby.”

Dean’s jaw clenched and unclenched a few times and Sam felt the fierce determination and protection come towards him in waves.

“No they won’t. Our baby will come home with us and will be given a proper send off.”


	16. Chapter 16

The tiny bundle burned in the backyard. the pyre was too small for any nosy neighbors to suspect anything more than a bonfire. Only the somber faces of the Winchester family gave anything away.

They were quiet. there were no words, no Bible verses, no songs. The family grieved in silence. Dean became Sam’s physical rock and support when the omega, still weakened by that morning’s surgical procedure, could no longer stand on his own.

“Sam? Wanna go in?” Dean was soft, gentle. Sam just shook his head and sank to a seated position on the grass. He hadn’t spoken since he woke up from the surgery. Dean nodded sadly and crouched next to him, wrapped around Sam like a shield. He looked over Sam’s head to John, trying to pull some strength from the family alpha.

He didn’t look at the fire any more. He watched Sam, he looked at the ground, at the darkening sky. It was his own child burning up there. He could barely wrap his mind around it. The other day they were growing a family… then it was just gone. 

And it tore him up inside. He felt like he failed his partner. He wasn’t able to protect Sam from this. He didn’t want to know how it felt for an omega, having been physically bonded with the baby. Having felt it growing inside.

No, he’d rather the pain of the alpha than the omega.

The two stayed out long after John went in to bed. They stayed until the last ember went out and the only light was from the moon above.

“Sam…”

Sam finally nodded and let Dean guide him back inside. The alpha put Sam to bed, watching sadly as Sam curled in on himself.

“I love you.” Dean whispered. 

Sam was silent.

~

Sam woke up.

His mind cleared as if a fog was burning away with the morning. How long had he been home, lying in bed and only moving when Dean made him eat or go to the bathroom? He still felt empty, painfully so. And dirty. Had it been days?

He could take a shower. Feel clean again. It was something.

He pushed himself up, shuffling from the bedroom to the bathroom, his body stiff from being in one place for so long. He started the shower water and let it warm up while he got undressed. When he stepped under the spray, he sighed and let the hot water soothe his knotted muscles. The steam built up and chased the chill from his bones. He hadn’t known he could feel so cold in the summer. It was soul deep.

He stayed until the steam and heat made him dizzy. The he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror, not wanting to see the stomach that had expanded to make room for a baby that no longer needed it. 

When he opened the door, goosebumps flared up over his damn skin and he could hear John and Dean’s voices coming from the kitchen.

“There’s no reason to stay any longer.”

“Dad, he hasn’t spoken in a week. He’s not ready to move.”

“Dean… it might be better for him to get away from this. If we move on, maybe he can too.”

“What if he- Sam!” Dean stood up, startled when he noticed Sam’s presence. “Are you- you’re up. Are you okay?” He almost tiptoed closer, like approaching a skittish animal in the wild. Sam nodded, keeping hold of the towel around him.

“Y-yeah.” His voice was rough, unused, and he cleared his throat.

“Sammy,” Dean gasped. Sam could almost hear the silent ‘you talked’ that Dean smartly chose not to point out. He reached out to grasp Sam’s face and Sam flinched away. 

Sam looked down, ashamed of his own reaction, and saw Dean’s hands drop slowly to his side.

“Go get dressed, Sam. Get yourself together… we need to talk.” John interrupted. Sam obeyed, turning back to the bedroom to put on some clothes.


	17. Chapter 17

Sam sat on the made bed, listening as Dean stomped around with barely contained anger. Sam had offered up no protests when John stated his case for them to move on. There was nothing holding them here. Not really. Not anymore.

Honestly, Sam didn’t care where they went. No location would take away the emptiness he felt. He’d still see Dean’s face every single day. And though Dean didn’t act like he blamed Sam, he didn’t know how Dean couldn’t. Sam blamed himself. He’d lost the baby and let his mate down. It was his body that killed- 

He couldn't look at Dean without feeling that stab of pain each time.

He couldn't bear Dean’s touches. They burned with imagined recriminations.

And Dean was being so gentle, so loving with Sam. He didn’t deserve it. He just knew with all his soul that when Dean looked at him, it was with pain. He knew Dean saw him and saw his lost child. how could he not? He’d been showering the baby bump with praise and love since the day they saw the positive pregnancy test.

And Sam couldn’t escape it.

This was family and he was stuck with them forever. And what if Dean wanted to try again? Could Sam survive getting his hopes up again just to have them crash in a fiery blaze?

“Sammy?”

He flinched at Dean’s voice.

“It’s Sam.” He corrected. ‘Sammy’ didn’t feel right anymore. he didn’t feel like he had enough innocence or joy in him to be ‘Sammy’ anymore.

“I… alright. Sam.” Dean’s shoulders fell. He looked defeated, not even bothering to point out Sam’s unusual defiance in the presence of his alpha. “Do you want me to pack your clothes?”

“No, I can do it.” Sam reached for the half empty duffel bag that Dean held out for him. The older brother nodded and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he turned and left the room.

Sam got up off the bed and opened his dresser drawers. New, brightly colored, unused maternity shirts glared up at him, mocking him. With a swift move, he pulled the drawer out and dumped it on the floor. Then he did the same with the next one and the next, tossing the wooden drawers to the side. A small square of paper fluttered out of the last one, landing on top of the clothing pile.

He reached with shaking hands and picked up the paper. It was the only ultrasound he’d had. The only real proof he’d had a baby in him. The sob built up in his chest and he let it out, falling on the soft pile and clutching it to his chest. His wails were unrestrained, mourning with all his body as the salty tears left pink traces on his cheeks.

He wasn’t sure when Dean came back into the room, but at one point he realized he was being held and rocked. The scent of his mate brought comfort and pain at the same time and he clutched Dean’s shirt, pulling him tighter and closer, and he cried harder.

~

He awoke in Dean’s arms. He looked around and realized he must have cried himself to sleep. They were on the bed and the pile of maternity clothes was gone. A smaller stack of his old clothes now sat in a neatly folded pile at the foot of the bed.

Sam carefully extracted himself from Dean’s hold and got up. He could pack his belongings. It was the least he could do. He grabbed up the duffel and emptied it onto the bed so he could put everything back neatly.

And the glossy red pamphlet stood out.

And Sam remembered.

Stanford.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam packed everything he would need, deciding when to tell Dean. Would Dean let him go? Would Sam cave if Dean demanded it? He didn’t know, but he had to try. He had to get out. He needed to get away from everything that reminded him of his loss.

“Sammy- oh fu- Sam!” Dean’s voice yelled throughout the house. “Pizza’s here!”

Their traditional meal when they spent their last night in any place. No dishes needed. Easy cleanup.

The thought of the thick crust, acidic tomato sauce, and greasy cheese had Sam’s stomach wanting to rebel. Or was it nerves? He couldn’t tell anymore. This needed to stop.

He picked up his bag and brought it out to the living room.

“Put your bag down, dude. We’re not leaving until morning.” Dean smiled and patted the couch cushion next to himself for Sam to sit there.

“Dean…” Sam’s voice shook. John seemed to notice something was off first, lowering his slice of pizza to the box.

“Sam, what are you doing?” Their father asked calmly. Dean looked from his brother to his father before it clicked and he stood up.

“Sammy?”

Sam flinched. He held out the Stanford pamphlet.

“I’m leaving.”

Dean took the pamphlet.

“Stanford? How?”

“I’ve already been accepted.”

“Sam, we can’t afford-”

“I got a full ride. It’s paid for. I’m going.”

“No.”

Sam instinctively ducked his head to submit at Dean’s forceful tone. But he forced himself to look back up, grimacing as his defiance almost physically hurt, and he looked into Dean’s eyes.

“I- I’m not asking for permission. I’m telling you.”

Dean reared back, surprise and anger warring on his face. Sam could see the alpha take over as Dean’s chest puffed out and a growl rumbled in his throat.

Sam brace for it, whatever ‘it’ might be.

“Omega, you wi-”

“Dean!” John interrupted, not afraid when Dean turned to snarl at him. “Control yourself! Damn alpha knothead.” He cuffed Dean on the ear, something he hadn’t done since before Dean had presented, and the older brother startled quiet. 

Sam watched the two alphas stare at each other, something passing between them that Sam, an omega, would never understand. Alphas were alphas over all omegas and betas, but there was always a family alpha. A patriarch or matriarch that lead the leaders, protected the protectors. 

“Sam…” Dean grated out after he’d calmed somewhat under his father’s gaze.

“Dean, I have to go.”

“You said everything was already taken care of. I’m not a genius, but I’m not stupid. These things take time and planning. It’s not a last minute decision.” Dean stopped, hands fisting and unfisting before he continued again. Sam could feel the anger beginning to build in his mate. Fury washing over him. “So… what? You were planning on leaving with the baby? Or maybe you were going to abandon that, too. Maybe you never wanted the baby. Maybe you lost the baby on purpose so it didn’t ruin your plans!”

There was only one punch before John restrained Dean, but Sam didn’t try to defend himself. He was broken by Dean’s words and accusations before the fist had even appeared. 

With tears silently falling down his face, Sam slowly sank to his knees. He bent over and touched his head to the floor, hands reaching forward to reverently touch Dean’s socked feet.

It was an ultimate display of subordination, never taught and rarely acted out. The room was silent as even Dean was surprised out of his anger.

“I was going to stay. I had sent the paperwork in before we even mated. I was going to ignore it and stay. I never- I never would have…. I….” Sam’s words were choked by muffled sobs and Dean felt remorse over his behavior and words. He hurt the one he was supposed to protect.

“I know… I know you wouldn’t. I’m sorry.” He whispered.  
“I have to go.” Sam took a shaky breath, sniffled and looked up at his mate. 

“Sam… you’re my mate.”

“I’ll still be your mate. I just need… this. It’s not forever.”

“I’ll go with. Every college has mated dorms.”

“No.” John’s alpha voice startled them both, having forgotten he was there. “Sam needs to go alone.”

“Dad!” Dean gasped. Sam began to tear up again, this time out of gratefulness. For the first time, his Dad knew better than Dean what Sam needed.

“My mate-”

“Yes, Dean, he is your mate. Your mate needs this time alone. Dammit, Dean… he needs it so bad, he was able to resist your alpha voice. His mate’s alpha voice. If that isn’t a damn strong need, I don’t know what is. And now that he is mated, he’ll be safer. Did you think of that? Because of you, Sam’s not as vulnerable to any asshole with a knot to pop.” 

Dean nodded reluctantly.

“Sammy… Sam… can I still visit?”

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are better than candy!


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